Insurance Companies

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-Oprah’s Near Death Experience

I was in the monstrous audience of the Oprah show last year in December. It was a cold day because of the heavy snow storm. Oprah was reporting on cats and how they could be extinct. AIG the insurance company went bankrupt which acted like a chain reaction. This chain eventually led to cat food making companies. Oprah decided to donate millions of dollars to these businesses. The money she donated would be enough to get the businesses out of debt. Then she put sixty cats up on the stage to feed for everyone to see. What I noticed when the cats were being put up on the stage is Oprah seemed frightened. When it was commercial break I walked up to her dressing room. I asked her why she was afraid of cats. She said “I give off an odor that makes cats want to eat me.” I replied “why would you do a show on them.” Oprah said “because it’s the generosity that boosts my ratings.” It was complete chaos when we returned form commercial break. She was speaking about how we should all adopt a cat while her co-worker Bob accidently slipped and landed on the large box with cats in them. The box opened, pouring out with all of the cats. They jumped on her with their large claws ripping her apart like a Chihuahua fighting a Pit Bull. The audience was screaming and running around crazily. People ran out of the set violently only fending for them selves. Later, Oprah was brought to the hospital to get treatment for her scratches. She had to stay in the hospital overnight but the doctors said she would make a full recovery. Ten days later all her fans were surprised to her that she had died of leprosy.

That’s pretty funny.

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